have you ever found yourself so busy that you couldn't find time for friends, even family?


I think lately (within the past 5-6 years) I've been falling into that trap. life's been flying by at a breakneck pace..it seems only yesterday I was a 16. today, well..I'm 22. or somewhere in between, depending on which way you look at it.


I think it's about time a took stock of my life.


how many friends can I honestly say I've made in the last half a decade - and of these how many of these friendships have I actually made the effort to sustain? If I were to consider secondary school, I'd say nearly zero. No, make that definite. Since JC? well, maybe a couple there - Mar, Bernard, Dav, Shirleen..among close friends, that's probably it. Even then I only communicate with Mar once in two or three weeks...

Since the army? Well, there have been quite a few acquaintances, especially those I've seen around school. But I'm glad to have found one true buddy in Chang. We've been through the most part of our NS days together as platoon mates. Thank goodness for Chang..although at times like today I can't even spare the evening to join him for supper, thanks to a meeting tomorrow, 10am at Clementi.


Why am I getting so involved? Activities one after another: FOC planning, Arts Retreat, the need to find a job..what evcr happened to the care-free life I once lived as a 16 year old (well, maybe I should revise that to "12 year old", since as a teenager growing up I've had my fair share of emotional roller-coasters - particularly with regards to my experiences with the opposite sex.)


Okay, my life's not all that bad - I'm meeting up with the guys for soccer after the FOC meeting and the briefing for the Angsi hike (where I'll be going with a newfound friend on a 1-day ODAC organised hike to Malaysia this saturday =] ) Haiz..but it just seems that out of the numerous people I get to meet in life, sadly I only manage to retain friendships with so few of them. That's not even mentioning people from Church! Well, I guess I get to meet a couple of them on the weekends, but the thing is that we don't go out as often as we used to - on the weekends particularly after saturday prayer meets, and sunday for mass as well.

That's probably because I've moved on from my youth group though..although honestly I can't say I'd been 100% comfortable sharing my life with them. I can't really explain why, but somehow it's not the same as with people who're willing to really accept you for who you are; people around whom you don't have to pretend to be someone else. I can say that I've 'almost' found such a community in the CSS (NUS Catholic Students' Society), although my personal insecurities may perhaps hold me back from being as entirely open as I'd like to be. But with the CSS, I feel closer than I've ever been to finding such a warm, caring community that really accept people for who they are.


Perhaps I'm speaking mainly from personal experience. Certainly I'm saddened by the fact that so many Catholic students in NUS have never even heard of the CSS, yet alone had the chance to be part of it. Only last night I was chatting with a friend I'd met at OBS (Lumut - an offshore island to the West of peninsular malaysia), and I was shocked to discover she too was a Catholic. It was even more stunning to discover that she was an Econs major in FASS too (Year 3 for her, cos I served NS) and was already graduating - without ever having had any involvement in the CSS. It really puzzles me how someone could slip though the "net", considering how active CSS is in promotion of its activities. It's one thing that we're not really outreaching to our non-Christian brethren, but it's a much more serious problem that even our fellow Catholic students could spend their entire 3 years in university without ever having experienced the wonderful love and community spirit that is the core of the CSS.

I've made a couple of really close friends here in CSS. Hopefully this time I'll learn not to let them go - as I have done, so many times in the past.

raneth hopped off at 7:57 pm